Road to Raw Nationals 2013
My first National event is over. To say the last 7 months of
training has been exhausting is an understatement. I trained through law
school. I trained through heartbreak. I trained through tears. I trained
through injuries (shoulder, back, flexors). I trained through dislocations and
separations. I trained through holidays. I trained through birthdays. I trained
on my own graduation day. I trained alone. I trained with my coach and boss at CrossFit 27:17 Michael McElroy. I trained in
silence. I trained to acoustic music and Rage Against the Machine. I trained
when my mind screamed at me to stop. I trained through an eating disorder
relapse. I trained.
Brother Bennett
I started powerlifting training after a hiatus (last time I
trained for it was in high school; 2006) after a shoulder injury in December. I
initially only planned on doing a local meet in February. Working under Mike we
had some good gains; I had a 270 SQ (PR)- 115 BP (PR; my shoulder rolled out on attempt 1 and when I got attempt 2, I scratched my 3rd)- 275 DL (first time my DL was
higher than my SQ; PR). I set a state record and won 3rd overall against
women in gear and equipment. I compete raw which means no help from suits and
knee wraps that can give you an advantage of 50 – 150 pounds on your raw lifts
dependent on how strong your gear is.
Injury
After that meet, my shoulder was still bugging me. I had
been getting shots in them for the pain but they kept coming out and hurting on
any OH movement. Then in March I got news that I had a severe case of os
acromiale. I was born 3 months premature and always had shoulder problems;
turns out the bones aren’t fused together and they slip in and out of joint and
pinch the muscles/tendons/nerves around it on the OH movements. It was why
snatch and kipping sent me to the floor in pain. I’m not talking “Oh that hurts”
pain—I’m talking a “I just got hit by a Mack truck and now there are 12 million
rusty knives stabbing me from my neck through my hands” pain. I went to PT and
took NSAIDs but nothing worked. Two doctors told me it was so severe surgery
would be of no use as my shoulders would continue to slip out.
It was hard to not be able to do what you love. Snatch was
one of my favorite lifts to perform and coach. As a coach, going to
certifications and having to tell people “No, I can’t snatch more than the PVC
Pipe” really hurt. I know people might think less of me as a coach or an
athlete for it but you can’t help the hand you’ve been dealt. My passion for
strength sports is always evident and I was determined to make the best of
it.
That’s where Coach Mike and Tyler come in. After all this
happened, I’ll never forget Mike telling me I wasn’t broken and that we were
going to squat the house and he encouraged me to set an American record one
day. Tyler, one of my mentors and my weightlifting guru, pushed me to pursue PL
with everything I had. I remember we both were sitting on the floor during a
class we weren’t coaching one day and I was telling him how not weightlifting
hurt me mentally and how I felt like PL was a cop out or made me less of an
athlete. He said “No dude. You have potential to be the best. Give it all you
have.” It’s no secret I admire and respect the two of them and they never made
me feel like a cast off. Without my mentors/super heroes giving me
positive reinforcement and encouragement, I may have just given up all
together.
I qualified for Nationals and toyed with whether or not to
go. I kept training because a local meet was the week before Nat’ls. I knew I
wouldn’t place or win. But that’s not what competing is about. At least not to
me. I wanted the experience and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Mike
and Reagan were expecting so they couldn’t come. Orlando was too long of a drive for most
friends. I didn’t want to go alone. But the universe wasn’t having that. The Florida State University PL
team, my friend and meet coach Mike Taylor, stepped up and adopted me. Amanda
Smithers bought a plane ticket to Orlando
and was my 27:17 cheer squad. I wasn’t alone and I was going to go compete in
July.
State Games
Fast forward and I won the MS State Games event in June and
had the highest Wilks coefficient lifting 280 SQ- 110 BP- 290 DL. While there I
coached 27:17’s own Stephanie Purvis in her first PL meet. I saw a lot of High School
Powerlifter Amber in her- Nervous But Fighting Til the End. She didn’t want to
know her numbers and I had shielded her from them and the announcer until it
was her time to lift. It was the first time I ever competed (with 14 meets
under my belt) and knew my numbers for each lift. It solidified my decision to
go to Nationals and reinforced that I was doing a job that I loved. The
mental confidence was a boost you couldn’t get from just training inside the
gym.
290 raw deadlift
280 raw squat
Orlando
I still had nagging pains and in the two weeks preceding Nat’ls
I considered not competing. Was my body trying to tell me to stop? Was I mentally
drained? A few melt downs (which included me sobbing outside the gym because I was in so much pain and frustrated), a lot of massages (3 to be exact because scapula knots were awful), a shoulder tape job, a visit to chiropractor Clayton Pitts at Norville, a ton of inspirational Attitude Nation videos, many pep talks
and mental resolve got me on that plane to Orlando. I had to buy a heating pad and
became one with my lax ball and band once I got there too.
Thanks to Clayton Pitts for the tape job to relieve some pain the last week of training
Eating Disorder Relapse and Weight Class Concerns
During all of this, I had many mental breakdowns over my
weight. It's no secret I suffered from exercise bulimia in my past. It came to
a head when I was hit by a van on my bicycle in 2008 and fractured my hip and
cheekbone…I also got a wicked Terminator eye from busted blood vessels. I still
have to battle those inner bulimia demons but I catch it as much as possible
and have stopped myself from punishing myself for food with exercise. I was 5
pounds over the weight class I qualified and registered for two days out from
competition and had ceased eating. That was not good. I felt weak and had no
energy. I knew with my history I would not refuel on meet day and made a
decision, after counseling with Mike and Tyler and confirming with the meet
director I was allowed to compete in the higher weight class, to eat and bump
up to the bigger class. I felt fat. Was I? Absolutely not. I look the best I've
looked: healthy. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But a scale is a dumb number and
I needed to PERFORM. We weren't here to win or anything--- just to perform. I
needed fuel. So I began to eat again and took the day before the competition
relaxing and resting. There was an emergency trip to a masseuse and CVS for a
heating pad and Icy Hot for a nasty bunch of knots under my scapula that had
been running amuck that week.
Calm Before the Storm
The night before I mobilized alone on the balcony of the
fitness room in the hotel. I focused on breathing and visualizing my lifts and
any scenario that might happen (I play lifts out in my head and perform them
sometimes in my apartment as if I got stuck and had to fight through to the
top. It’s creepy and weird but it gets your head right and ready for anything).
I watched Attitude Nation videos and thought about everything I had been
through to get this day.
National Meet
Meet day came and I was nervous but ready. It was my first national competition and I had no idea what to expect. The room was larger, the warm up area even larger, there was an announcer, and loud music, and refs in suits. I was there to do
my best and I stayed calm. I was overwhelmed with all of the support texts the night
before and the day of. I had no idea what to do the day of the meet but I met a
few friendly faces who took me under their wings. I didn't have a belt (because you couldn't use the velcro belts like 2Pood which is what I would wear but I never trained in a belt either) or shoes for each lift or wrist wraps and Equipment Check seemed to be confused by this. Later I found out why: EVERY ONE ELSE HAD THEM. I just weighed in and went on my merry way.
The warm up room was behind the main stage and it was
packed, loud, and full of energy. People were frantically running around
squawking at each other but I found a spot on the floor and put my headphones
on. Out came my squeezable packets of baby food (I can't stomach much on a meet
day), lacrosse ball, band, and Bo the Bear. Bo was propped up on my chair and I
know people thought I was crazy. "Look at this girl with a baggy singlet,
neon green shoes, no belt, no wrist wraps, no Rehbands eating baby food and
hanging out by herself with a teddy bear." As Holly Sills would say,
"Haters gonna hate."
I warmed up how I always do and just got ready since I was the first flight of people to lift (my platform had three flights between lifts).
Unfortunately we don't have any pictures or many videos due to camera phone issues.
I warmed up how I always do and just got ready since I was the first flight of people to lift (my platform had three flights between lifts).
Unfortunately we don't have any pictures or many videos due to camera phone issues.
Squat: I
missed my first attempt of 265 because it was too high. Nerves got to me. The
IPF likes their squats lower than low. I nailed it the second time around.
Third attempt at 281 I got out of the hole and hovered for a while (my quads
are still sore from the strain of trying to muster it up) before the head judge
called the spotters to take it. I was disappointed since SQ was my money maker
but it happens. It's VERY easy to bomb out (miss all 3 attempts of a lift and
not be able to continue in the meet) and I didn't. Got myself out of that dark
cave and I felt much more at ease. Texting me between lifts the whole time was
Coach Mike making me laugh and feeding me advice. He also sent my Attitude
Nation Donny Shankle’s Back video when youtube wouldn’t pull it up and I
watched that REPEATEDLY. Honestly, it kept me in the meet.
265 raw squat
BP:
Historically my worst event was my best at Nat'ls. I BLEW UP 100, 110, and 120.
120 is the most I’ve ever done in a
competition (125 is my non-meet PR and that was a while ago). The last meet my
shoulder separated and I scratched two attempts. My SH really hurt after warm
up but I masked the pain by having my meet coach punch me in my back to take my
mind off it. Hey, it worked. I was very very happy with my BP. The easy 120
left me hungry for DL.
100 raw BP
115 raw BP (aka The Amber Alert-- the announcer called me that, Amber Sheppard's Pie, Amber Sherred, Amber Sherrad, and Amanda Sheppard)
120 raw BP
DL: Pulled
a slow 275. This meet had Eleiko bars and it took me a bit to find my grip
width. Never underestimate a good warm up folks—that was where I got
comfortable with the bar. I went for 292.6 and couldn't lift it off the floor.
I was upset but I got over it. I got mad. When meet coach Mike Taylor told me
to get after it and get mad, I listened to him. When he asked me if I wanted a
salt sniff I knew he meant business and so did I (I declined but as you’ll
see…I beat myself up to get same effect). I listened to some more Shankle,
talked with Mike and the crew (Tyler, Danielle, and Chris), and literally beat
the heck out of myself before trying for attempt 3. Thigh, hip, stomach
slapping....worse than usual. Busted blood vessel slapping and immediate bruising slapping. I got madder than mad and went out on
that platform to lift 292.6. I did lift it. Up to my knees. But the pull wasn't
happening. The iron had a lesson to teach me and it said “Amber, not yet. But
thanks for trying. Come back to us when you aren’t afraid to lean back. You
won’t hitch. We promise. Use that leverage to your advantage.” I had some
coaches and lifters backstage remark that I had a fighter spirit and that was a
heck of a redemption anyway regardless of whether it garnered 3 white lights.
275 raw deadlift
From slapping immediately after lifting (really not that bad- I do this in training too)
From slapping immediately after lifting (really not that bad- I do this in training too)
When it was over I went to the hallway, still shaking from
adrenaline, and shed a few tears. Not because I was sad. From happiness. I
pushed myself to the brink and I did my absolute best. I didn't succeed in my
quest for 300 on either lift but it felt like I did. My shoulders
didn’t separate and I gave every lift every ounce of energy that I had. I couldn't walk away with my head down. I left with a big smile. And an even bigger appetite.
Aftermath
It's the journey that matters. This training has given me or
helped show me how much mental strength I have in me. It gave me the confidence
to quit law jobs and follow my heart and my passion: coaching. People think I'm
crazy but I love it and I don't see myself doing anything else. Life is too
short not to enjoy what you do.
The day after I got home Chris was working on his cleans at 300# and I got mad at myself because I couldn't pick it up. I tried and it wouldn't budge (for obvious reasons). Then I crouched down at the end of the loaded barbell and thought of my favorite lifting article, "The Iron Never Lies" by Henry Rollins. Well, it doesn't lie. Now is not the time Amber lifts 300#s. There's more growth and lessons in the book to learn. It will come. When it's ready...and when I'm ready. The quest for 300 will continue.
I’ve already reevaluated the season, training, and what
happened and have set new goals moving forward with Coach Mike. We’ll be back at
Nationals. A little more seasoned, a little less tired, and a lot hungrier.
We’ll still be fighting for an American record and look forward to smashing State
records along the way. In the end, I just want to do my best. I don’t take
kindly to mediocrity.
Thank You
I know some may scoff at this because I didn't win anything
but this was a huge milestone in my career and it's only the beginning. I want
to thank some people who got me here (in one piece):
Coach Michael McElroy:
You understood my eating disorder and made me carb backload
to ensure that I ate and when I slipped on eating when I got upset, you
listened and didn't chastise me; it's a tough disorder to understand but you
did your best and did all the right things by making me look forward. You took
my SH injury seriously and worked around it. Making me stop WODs when you could
see something was wrong but I was too scared to say anything. You made me see
the doctor.
You bought a Sling Shot and tried different things to alleviate pain. I think the Sling Shot brought more laughter than anything else... (and let's not forget the KB BP and any time we used bands).
You bought new books and studied up on Westside Barbell more. You grew with me and never stopped learning. You trained alongside me. Your commitment and resolve to your workouts and to getting every rep you could out of it made me a better athlete: I wanted to match that will to succeed and I wanted to push you too during our sessions. You always knew what to say and when I needed to hear it. Not once did you make me feel stupid or dumb---even when I couldn't figure out the bands. You got a Power Rack. You never complained about my crazy texts and videos for critiques. You never made fun of me for slapping myself or throwing weights or slapping the GHD machine; you asked why I did it and I overheard you one day talking about it in a good light re: mentality and said you wished you could flip that switch in yourself as quickly as I do. That made me feel like I wasn't a freak (believe me, I know what people say about me and I know some laugh).
You bought a Sling Shot and tried different things to alleviate pain. I think the Sling Shot brought more laughter than anything else... (and let's not forget the KB BP and any time we used bands).
You bought new books and studied up on Westside Barbell more. You grew with me and never stopped learning. You trained alongside me. Your commitment and resolve to your workouts and to getting every rep you could out of it made me a better athlete: I wanted to match that will to succeed and I wanted to push you too during our sessions. You always knew what to say and when I needed to hear it. Not once did you make me feel stupid or dumb---even when I couldn't figure out the bands. You got a Power Rack. You never complained about my crazy texts and videos for critiques. You never made fun of me for slapping myself or throwing weights or slapping the GHD machine; you asked why I did it and I overheard you one day talking about it in a good light re: mentality and said you wished you could flip that switch in yourself as quickly as I do. That made me feel like I wasn't a freak (believe me, I know what people say about me and I know some laugh).
You videoed the Donny Shankle video for me no questions
asked the day of my meet when I couldn't get on youtube and I received it in
less than 5 minutes. You had faith in me when I didn't have any in myself.
We grew together in this PL experiment and we will continue to do so moving
forward. I don't want any other coach by my side.
It takes a lot more than writing a program to make a good
coach. A great coach knows their athlete, understands their personality, and
can adapt and improvise. You did just that. You forever changed my life as an
athlete, as a coach, and as a person. You made it OK for me to be myself and
not only understood where I was coming from but also supported me in my
decision to coach full time when the decision didn't have many fans. You even
supported me when I was scheduled to leave for another position in another
state; it was that steadfast support that made me stay. I will never be able to
thank you enough for everything you've done for me. 2014 is going to be
our year, Boss.
Tyler Smith:
TPain, if I were tall, explosive, and a man, I'd like to think I would be you. I love
learning from you. Our academic nature, mindset, and work ethic are so similar
it's scary. Your WL pursuits fueled me and kept me pushing. Sharing war stories
and living in the pain cave together made things easier. Again you solidified
what I was doing and helped me get to Nat'ls. I was able to confine in you
about my ED and you did more than you know to help alleviate stress and make me
feel at ease with what I was doing. Promise I'll sleep more next go 'round.
You saved me from meltdowns, relapses, and a 225 back squat for reps (you know you remember me busting my tail but thankful you caught it with your catlike reflexes). Looking forward to you being back at 27:17 and you dangling me from my scapula.
I admire and respect you to no end & I don't say that often. But
seriously…it’s not the shoes.
Chris Haynes:
Chrissy. What can I say. You are the most annoying brother ever. We yell more
than anything else and ruffle each other's feathers like nobody's business.
Pretty sure our phones are on a constant state of CAPSLOCK. Helping you through
the Open this year and seeing you grow competitively fueled me. Being a newbie
at Nat'ls and feeling those feelings again will help me help you moving
forward. You made me laugh when I wanted to punch a wall training and held a
mirror up to me. Your energy fueled me on days I had none. I love helping you
on your lifts and when you ask for help, I appreciate it. We argue and fight
over the advice and I send you videos emphasizing pulls and we make up. You
push me as a coach, an athlete, and as friend. Thank you bro. LBEB and Attitude
Nation Salute.
Emily Moore:
The
yin to Chris’ yang, Emily was my quiet encourager. She has the sweetest soul
I’ve ever met and when she said she knew I could do something, I believed her.
She kept me sane and made me laugh with our Bo the Bear antics and constant
puns. She has come a long way on her CrossFit journey and I’m thankful every
day she’s a part of my life. She’s one of the best friends you could ever ask
for. Thanks EmCat.
Members at 27:17:
I
could write a thank you for every single member and truly mean it. Just know
that collectively and individually you guys are the reason I wake up and do
this day in and day out. I don’t want to coach or be around anyone else more
than you guys. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Every day I would come
in and train and sometimes it took all I had to keep moving. Knowing you were
watching and looking up to me kept me moving. Coaching you afterwards and
seeing your tenacity gave me more energy and drive than anything else. Win or
lose, you guys were always rooting me on for every meet. Amanda Smithers went to my first and last meet of the season; I
know the meets are boring but you never complained. Stephanie Purvis always asked about my training and the day I was
to leave for Orlando
she gave me a comforting pat on the back when I was just standing around before
my next movement and nodded her head at me before I left as to say “Go get em”;
that relaxed me and I wanted to make her proud. Ashley and Billy inspired me every day to be patient and focused;
their hard work over the last year in their own training is truly amazing and
awe inspiring.
Natalie Axley:
Nat has been my constant cheerleader and my PL sister in arms since we met at
Brother Bennett meet in February. We've trained together, freaked out together,
and calmed the other one down more times than I can count. Without her giving
me a reality check or a confidence booster two days before I left for Orlando, I'm not sure
what would have happened. Unfortunately we don't have any pics together!!
Julie Hudson:
My
only non gym friend to warrant an exclusive shout out and THREE pictures. My law best friend and
2nd Lt in the Army was with me through thick and thin. She came to my first
meet back in February (3 hours away) and always asked about how my sessions went and
watched videos of lifts that I know weren't interesting to her. She listened to
me and made me laugh. She encouraged me to wear tutus and have themes for our 5K excursions. The week of the meet she sent me some really kind and
thoughtful messages. All the while studying for the hardest exam of her life:
the bar exam. GANDAKE JULES!!!!
Bo the Bear:
Coach Lachney and the
PJP PL
team:
You started me on this journey 11 years ago. You believed in me
unconditionally and gave me a home those many years ago. You taught me work
ethics, drive, and compassion. You taught me heart matters more than numbers
and all you can do is your best. We stayed in constant communication and you
critiqued my lifts and encouraged me. Kelsey
Brock you were my hero in high
school and you were still my hero when I started this road back to PL; you
believing in me meant so much. Thanks also to Richard Trowbridge and Chase
Favre for their advice and support.
Mike Taylor and Team Unconquered/FSU:
Thank you for taking me in and making me part of your family at Nationals.
Mikey you are an angel and I respect and admire your drive at such a young age.
Keep pushing forward and we’ll both be competing at Nationals and Arnold soon.
Maybe you can punch me again.
All the gyms I
visited during the last 7 months when I was away:
CrossFit Launch (Tony Garcia/Sarah Lyons always make me
feel like a boss and have supported me like one of their own), DogTown CrossFit
Danielle Hudes:
My New Jersey
Swolemate. I can’t even write a proper thank you for you but you know exactly
what you did. I couldn’t leave you off the list.
Jon North/Attitude
Nation:
He may not be someone in my every day life physically but I watched
his videos or read his blogs daily. The days I needed a training partner, I
would watch him before I left the house, at the gym, during a set. It might be
ironic since I can’t snatch anymore but I still love it and everything AN
stands for. Jon North is my spirit animal and stands for so much in my life in
many different aspects. If you have talked to me for more than 20 minutes, I’m
sure you’ve picked up on that. His passion, his drive, his heart, his humor,
his American Record dream….all mimic my own journey. His signed poster hangs on
my wall and serves as a constant reminder to keep pushing and following my
heart: “Always stay a gym rat Amber.” You got it, Jon.
It also didn't hurt that my hero commented on facebook the day before (good omen!). It was just an extra boost in the tank for meet day.
It also didn't hurt that my hero commented on facebook the day before (good omen!). It was just an extra boost in the tank for meet day.
This video:
Attitude Nation/Shankle Is Back
Dr. Fong, Massage
Envy, and Clayton Pitts:
Ya’ll kept my body from falling apart. I thank you as I’m sure you’ll thank me this off season when I’m living in your office.
Ya’ll kept my body from falling apart. I thank you as I’m sure you’ll thank me this off season when I’m living in your office.
Compete
Gym PRs are not meet PRs. There is nothing like standing on a platform at a meet...any kind of meet. Nothing. I did not win at Nationals. I did not medal. I did not break a record. But I did my absolute best. I competed. I dug deep down inside my core and I fought, scratched, and beat my inner demons. When people rattle off excuses like "I'm not good enough" or "I don't have time"...well, I don't accept that. I have a jacked up shoulder, tons of law school debt and I'm working as coach and trainer with two jobs not looking at paying off those anytime in the distant future but doing what I love and what I live for. I made sacrifices to pay for my travel and I spent my time at the gym working hard. All just so I could compete. If I can do, you can do it. And you should do it. Take a chance on yourself and learn from the journey. COMPETE.
I may not be the best lifter or the best coach but my passion and my heart seep through everything that I do. You can’t buy that. You can’t teach that. And no one can take that away. Here’s to taking a short break, working on some technical tweaks, and coming back wiser and hungrier than before.
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