Get A Life

Since my last post I had one of the best meets of my life. 4 state records with no pain whatsoever. What changed? My mind was the calmest it has ever been & the results spoke for themselves. My training numbers have gone up, my stress levels have gone down, I haven't skipped a meal in a month and I've gone in public more. 

So what changed? I GOT A LIFE OUTSIDE THE GYM.

Don't have an aneurysm. Amber's idea of getting a life isn't earth shattering or wild and exciting. But it was therapeutic for my recovery (physically and mentally). While I love the gym and the gains, I was sacrificing my mental & physical health for it. All I really needed to do was take a step back and let the gains fall where they may.

The following are things I made time for:

Yoga

It's no surpirise Amber likes herself some yoga. Is she a natural at it? 

But I do like to practice. I had been going to a yoga studio for a few months but finances were not kind to me so I had to stop attending with instructors. Trust me I looked for a million alternatives to keep me in the studio with adult supervision.

Enter Instagram. I can hear you guys now: "Girl we all know you love yourself some social media!" Why yes I do but there were a million of yogis on there to choose from. I watched clips every day and starting in September I started doing the Size Doesn't Matter monthly Challenge hosted by @yoga_divina and @mynameisjessymyn . I liked it because people of all shapes and sizes were doing it AND they had great tutorials.

I started doing videos of the poses and dancing afterwards (http://instagram.com/p/v4p0PUQ1S_/ ; see @amber_msbarbell for more). It was just fun for me to do and I liked picking songs to fit my mood. It eventually spiraled into Amber just doing weird things but it makes me happy and it's a release that isn't in the gym. Plus I like trying new poses. Especially  the ones where I fall on my face.

 Look out for side crow 2015. Well...maybe 2016.

Iron Lesson: Loose lips sink ships but loose hips sink squat PRs. 

Nails

Even though I am the furthest thing from a girly girl I love doing my nails. All kinds of weird colors and sometimes with glitter. Sometimes I have multiple colors on. 

"Amber do you spend money on a manicure?" NOPE DOT COM. I don't have that kind of cash money to throw around. More importantly I don't do my nails to look a certain way or be pretty. It's another form of therapy for me. It's mindless and I enjoy changing the color every week or so. Some people think it's too time consuming especially when I lift a lot so they get chipped. 

To those haters I say: "To the left, to the left. My unfollow button is all the way to the left."

Iron Lesson: Flashy, stubby nails don't get in the way of your gains. The barbell appreciates you getting fancy for him.

Reading & Writing 

This comes as no surprise that Amber is a giant nerd. I cried on my first day of kindergarden because I was upset they didn't teach me how to read. 

One of the first books I read was Little House on The Prairie: not because of the content, but because it was the biggest book I could find. In 5th grade I wrote a book report on John Grisham's The Chamber. 

My favorite TV show growing up was "Wishbone" (it had a talking dog who read books). 

When I got into college and then law school, my majors required that I read all the time. I stopped reading for fun. In law school I only recall reading one book for fun ("The Art Of Racing In The Rain")

I started reading again for fun this year. My first book was the science fiction novel called "Dune". It should really be called a science fiction opus.  It took me 8 months to read the 980 page book (I skipped reading it for two months).

When I got done with it I went hog wild and bought some more books. The first one I've started to read is "Sports Gene". I read a little bit every night after I write in my journal before bed. Writing really helps my brain settle down and keeps me grounded.

Iron Lesson: By keeping my brain sharp and by releasing my thoughts before bed, my stress has been lower and I feel like the old Amber. Just one with more strength and mental gains. 

Jean Procurement

This was the biggest milestone for me. I haven't worn jeans in over a year. When I hurt my back my eating disorder went full on crazy. I stayed away from any party or office setting. I gained some weight, as was expected, and didn't want to try on the jeans because I knew they wouldn't fit. When I did attend human parties I showed up in a dress or leggings which made me feel out of place OR I went in spandex and got made fun of. 

I didn't want my disorder to win  or keep me on the sidelines so a few weeks ago I made the decision to throw out all the other jeans and shorts that no longer fit (they went to a charity) and go buy new ones.  The first store I entered I almost had a mental breakdown before even picking any up to try on; it didn't help the sales woman was unhelpful. 

The next store was better. I at least tried some pants on. None were to my liking (and were too long; see below for details) but I didn't cry or give up hope. I had to tell myself pants didn't define me and ignored the sizes. I looked at them but they didn't give me a sinking feeling.

Eventually I found TWO pairs of pants at Kohl's and bought them. 

My new goal was to wear them once a month out in public. Three days after buying them I wore them to trivia night and did this dance ( http://instagram.com/p/wXnq2dQ1eM/ ). I even wore a fitted top with it! I ended up putting on my jacket about 30 minutes into being at the facility but baby steps. One hurdle at a time.

Thank you Jennifer Lopez for making jeans that make me dance.

Iron Lesson: If you aren't scared of jeans, then you aren't scared of weight on and off the bar.

Learn About Food

Food  is not the enemy. Food is fuel. That’s the cliché quote I see everywhere. But I finally accepted that sentiment and saw the world in a whole new light.

I slowly started asking more questions of mentors and friends and started eating regularly.  After a month of not skipping meals, I felt like a new human. I'm not as tired; not as grumpy; and just as strong. I'm still a troll though. 

When we attended a continuing education course for weightlifting  last weekend we had a chapter on nutrition; I didn't even cry or panic. Not even a little bit. When we went out to eat, I didn't freak out. I know what carbs are and why they are important. I know what proteins and fats do. I don't train to eat anymore and I don't skip meals based on my perceived self esteem. 

I didn't purge, binge or restrict this last holiday (Thanksgiving); that's the first time that has happened in 7 years. I think the rest of these things had to happen to get my mind in a good place to be able to attack this head on. It's a process and I learn and grow every day. It's a lifelong battle but I now have the tools to fight it effectively and in a healthy manner.

Knowledge is power.

Iron lesson: Food gives you gains if you understand it and aren't its prisoner. 

WRASSLIN 

Otherwise known as wrestling or sports entertainment. 

I watch the soap opera storylines and grown men and women falling down every week. If it's Monday night, I'm watching Raw. On Fridays I alternate between wrestling and Dateline. I hung a WWE blanket as a makeshift curtain at the last place I lived & got sanctioned by the Homeowner's Association. 

I attended a live event when WWE LIVE came to Jackson. Second row, all by myself. Let me tell you I had the time of my life. I look forward to the next event too. If nothing else so I can do this again when my ticket comes in (http://instagram.com/p/syjowsQ1Su/).

Did you know former USAW Olympian weightlifter and powerlifting champ Mark Henry is a professional wrestler? That John Cena trains at The Lab Gym when in STL? Seth Rollins & Cesaro snatch and clean and jerk? Well now you do so sip your haterade elsewhere. OR BRING ME SOME AND JOIN ME IN SUPPORTING WRASSLIN.

Sometimes my worlds collide: yoga AND WRASSLIN (http://instagram.com/p/vhBjugw1Vi/) 

Iron Lesson: Mindless TV is ok in moderation. But if you get into something, go full on obsessive with it.  Just like lifting. 

At the end of the day, just relax and better yourself as a whole. Lifting is a gigantic part of my life. It's my profession and my passion but don't be afraid to look elsewhere for inspiration or challenges. A well rounded lifter is a good lifter.